Heart break

These days I sulk. I mope. I whine. I behave like my world has been hit by a meteorite and is on the verge of being flung out of the orbit and consumed by the sun!! I have just broken up with the ‘love of my life'. This is my first ever heartbreak and I am trying to look at as a bystander watching a ten vehicle pile collison on the expressway. 

I think I can heartbreak is probably like chicken pox. Many of you have survived through the incessant itchiness, frustration and scars that accompany it. Lucky few have never known it but are wary about it. You know it makes one miserable but like the pox you will never realise how bad the itch can get until you are confined to the bed with nothing but neem leaves for company.

How does one get through a break up? Does this qualify to be one of the existential questions of life? Krishna's consort, Radha, had to live through separation and see Krishna with other women. How did she do it? I do not believe her approach of still worshipping him and his memory did her any good. Mortals worshipped her and her love for him but was she still not miserable through it all? Sita valiantly fought Ravan throughout her ordeal but fell apart and asked mother earth to open her bosom and consume her when things went awry/downhill with Ram. Why is it that men make women feel so vulnerable? If goddesses could not successfully and wholly get past a heart break and mistrust what chance do mere mortals like us have?

Goddesses may have faltered but I am not ready to give up just yet. Every problem has a solution. In today’s world of button pressing and voice commands everything is instant from messaging to paneer makhani. Any gadget that takes its own sweet time is dealt with impatient groans, knocks and shaking including moving on after a break up. Healing is not instant and we cannot expect it to be.  

In popular opinion, time taken to move on is indirectly proportional to your strength and healthy attitude. So how soon should one be up and about, ready to believe in life, love and all that is rosy once again?  When is the right time for a kick on the hind to get one going? How much time is appropriate to mourn? Being a student of science, I find it easier when life’s myriad questions can be solved through simple mathematics.  Time taken to move on= Time spent in a relationship/4 (probably some arbitary number). Although it seems reasonable enough for me. 

It is okay if I still feel like curling up into a ball and hiding under a rock once in a while as long as I am not praying for the earth to devour me. Me vs Sita- I win. I'm still on earth and not under it. Looking at the silver lining in the dark cloud, I still have plenty of time for a kick in my hind.